Question:
Black women dating white men?
Jenniferann88
2007-08-20 05:17:33 UTC
So I'm just wondering why they expect everyone to accept it. I mean when white women started dating black men alot the black women had a fit and were very rude to the couple... Their excuse was that white women were trying to steal their men? No one can be stole, they wanted to go. So whats the difference from a black woman dating a white guy then a white woman dating a black man? And please dont say there is no diffrence, if you honestly think that then you are blind.
Sixteen answers:
Beng T
2007-08-20 15:15:18 UTC
I think it depends on the place. Here in the UK it is quite usual to see mixed race couples and nobody thinks anything about it. It's just seen as normal.
canielany
2007-08-20 08:53:38 UTC
Well.. as a black woman i have to honestly say if a Black man is dating a (white, Hispanic, Other than Black woman) it does not bother me because i believe in matters of the heart one shouldn't add color to the equation as well

Maybe some Black women are offended because they feel a certain ownership to a black man and to see them with a non black woman is as if they have been betrayed

The feeling of Betrayal I'm sure is the same for White women that disapprove of a White men dating a Black woman , I'm sympathetic to both women but i don't approve of neither

I feel that a man is a man and a woman is a woman we are all human and can date whom we want in the human species as long as is not a woman with a horse or a man with a cat

Some men , women when they see an interracial couple may feel betrayle , and feel that the mate of the same race as them pick the opposite race because they think that partiualar race is superior but that's ludacrous because no one is indeed superior ... and beisdes if i was to date a White man because i thought the white race was better i would have to hate me and i know self-hatred does exist but dating outside ones race does not make you that race ....

And of course you have the people that disaprove of interacial relationships because they are bigots and racist and can not see past color to see a man , a woman , or a child (those are the niserable ones )

I know i wrot4e a book but this subject is very complexe and i had to state my views on this matter
2007-08-20 07:05:57 UTC
I don't understand the difference, blacks women are not insecure if you date a black man, at least I'm not,date a white girl and if a black women wants to date a white guy that's fine, but alot of black mens don't like when a black women date a white man, so to me, people should run their own life, i can care less who dates who because my life don't revolve around what grown folks do or do not do
2007-08-20 13:56:54 UTC
I'm sorry I must be blind because I don't see the black men dating a white woman and a white man dating a black woman
2007-08-20 08:35:13 UTC
I dont think MOST black women do this, although there are plenty who do. As a black woman who dates white men, I dont really care who goes out with black men or white women, and even if they date eachother, good for them. There are more black men and white women who give the starange looks when myself and my boyfriend are out together, but I dont go asking why white women are this way, because I dont really care what negative opinions they have in mind.



Interracial dating is simply beautiful, and IGNORE THE HATERS, regardless of what their race and gender is.
2007-08-20 05:40:13 UTC
When white women started dating black men, it was mostly white men who had a problem with it. Some black men were killed over this. Thankfully that sort of hateful reaction isn't common anymore.



Most black women today aren't going to care one way or the other who other people are dating. Those who do get angry when black men date white women are being unfair, but they do have better reason than you may think.



The reality of life in the US is that black people are a minority group, and there aren't that many eligible black men to begin with. Higher death rates and higher incarceration rates among black men remove a lot of guys from the dating pool. If every available black man in the US paired himself off with a single black woman, there wouldn't be enough black men to go around. So if black men date women of other races, some black women feel upset that this means there's even less of a chance for them to find a nice black boyfriend. It isn't very nice for these women to be mean to a white woman who is dating a black man, but it isn't totally irrational either.



As for black women dating white men, it's not that common. It certainly does happen, but less often than a black man dating a white woman. You can tell by looking at marriage statistics. Black men are about twice as likely to marry a white woman as a black woman is too marry a white man. This has been the case since the 1970s. There are fewer statistics on dating available, but the American Demographics article I link to below says that 13% of black men who have a live-in girlfriend are dating white women. Only 4% of black women live with a white boyfriend.



There are people who'd be upset if they knew a black woman who was dating a white man, but this situation doesn't come up as often as the other way around so you don't hear as much about it.
purplelites
2007-08-20 05:27:48 UTC
Not all white women will have a problem with it but I'm sure a majority of them will... I'm pretty sure the black women dating white men never had a problem with black men with white women... People against race mixing usually don't do it.... next!!!
2007-08-20 06:37:44 UTC
I don't think it was the fact that we thought you're trying to steal anyone, It's the fact that some of those black men talk down to black women as if they are lower than any woman.

Some of them even say that ALL BLACK WOMEN ARE BAD OR UGLY so they only date white women.

(AS if those black men aren't black themselves LOL!!!)



MY MOTTO IS DATE FOR LOVE NOT FOR COLOR(if you decide to date interracially)

I actually hang out with dudes that date outside of black women, and it doesn't bother me, as long as they're not putting me down.





BTW

I don't date interracially but you should have seen the black dudes that gave me a fit, just for talkin to this white dude. I wasn't even flirting with him(even though he was flirting with me)

I was getting so many dirty looks and remarks it was ridiculous. AND I DON'T EVEN DATE WHITE DUDES, I WAS JUST TALKING(like when I talk randomly to any girl or guy)
2007-08-20 07:21:21 UTC
the problem is, now black men are complaining about it. saying black women who date and only date white men are betraying their race. You should hear how some people dog out Halle Berry and Kerry Washington



I think its funny how some of these answers get thumbs down and they are telling the truth of reality!
Bore sum 1 else w/ ur question!
2007-08-20 07:51:18 UTC
im a black woman who dates white men and im one of the few who can care less about a black man dating a white woman. you said that black woman were rude to you? well black men are rude to me when i date white men. they called me a sellout because i did it. i cant help who im attracted to just like they cant help who they are attracted to. im not physically attracted to black men. period. i find them attractive but that's about it.



i dont know what you mean when you expect everyone to accept it. the only thing im saying is that i cant stand when some black men and some white women judge me when im out with my white bf when they are doing it right in front of my face. very hypcritical.



the difference between bw/wm and ww/bm is that historically, black women were raped by white men and so when people see them together it's weird and start thinking that slave mentalility, whereas a bm/ww relationship they feel that the ww is rebeling and the bm is "sticking it to the wm" for dating them. bm/ww relationships will always be more common and accepted then bw/wm relationships
2007-08-20 05:50:13 UTC
Those women must be desperate. If black men want to date white women, then good for them. Maybe the crimes against black women and AIDS/HIV rates will go down by a whole lot. Since over 70% of AIDS/HIV cases in black women come through heterosexual sex with black men. Plus, black men just have no drive. Most black men's only ambition is to find a woman to take care of them. Most black men are uneducated, locked up in prison. Gay, bisexual, or on the down low. Kudos to interracial couples involving black men!
2007-08-20 05:33:48 UTC
there isn't...but you say majority think so...maybe in the past but not anymore, do you even know majority of black women...and yes you can't get something stolen from you if it ain't yours but you do not have to generalize...



exactly...majority of the ones YOU know...thank ya!...all i wanted to hear...you don't even know 1 PERCENT of us...it's so weird how you just showed how much of a stereotypical woman you are...i don't care about who people date...i think intercultural mixing is great...it shows how far we've come...so go ahead assuming....
Shan
2007-08-20 14:20:19 UTC
Based on my experiences... the black men I know who date white women...we are very grateful the white women took them off our hands.
Gone, Gone, Gone.
2007-08-20 08:06:12 UTC
lol youre hilarious. youre a dumbass - most of us couldnt give a **** who you date. ive dated white asian and hispanic guys my whole life and ive had my fair share of nasty looks from white chicks. there is no difference. and if you think so then youre a dumbass racist...oh wait thats already been proven.
Larry L - Hi Everyone :D
2007-08-20 09:26:39 UTC
WHAT'S BEHIND THE ESCALATING TREND?



AS we head into the new millennium, marrying mitt dating across cultural lines seem to be increasing at record rates.



Almost anywhere you go these days, you will encounter mixed-race couples: at the grocery store, the mall, the theater, at a company function, at: a concert, even at church. And while for years the Black man-White woman couple was more prevalent, today many social observers say that the pairing of Black women and White men is just as common.



That certainly seems to be the case in cities such as St. Paul-Minneapolis, where interracial couples long have thrived. But the social trend also is quite evident in other large cities such as Chicago and New York, Atlanta and Detroit, where there is a noticeable and striking increase in the number of mixed-race couples, especially Black women with White mates.



In movies, on television and even on Broadway, the theme of interracial love has become en vogue. Wesley Snipes has starred in a number of movies in which his love interest was not Black: jungle Fever, One Night Stand and U.S. Marshal. The popular sitcom Ally McBeal has the lead character bemoaning a lost love, a Black doctor. Last year, Whitney Houston's production of Cinderella starred Brandy in the title role but the prince was not Black. And a new Broadway musical, Marie Christine, revolves around a relationship in the 1800s between a Black woman (Audra McDonald) and a White sea captain.



"Interracial couples are more noticeable and prominent than ever," says a Midwest-based author who has observed the changes in social trends for some 40 years. "But the recent numbers of Black women being escorted by White men is, well, startling, to say the least."



According to the U.S. Census Bureau, in 1997 there were 311,000 interracial (Black-White) married couples, more than six times as many as in 1960. Of those, 201,000 were comprised of a Black husband and White wife, while there were 110,000 couples in which the husband was White and the wife Black. Some estimate that today 10 percent of married Black men have mates of another race.



Some social observers say that the increase in cross-cultural relationships is tied directly to the breakdown of school and residential segregation and the 1967 overthrow of the last laws. That year the U.S. Supreme Court unconstitutional laws barring racial intermarriage in states. A mixed couple in Virginia had challenged the state's 1924 antimiscegenation statute in response to their being forced by local law officials to live apart, to jail or leave the state.



In addition, most grade schools and colleges are integrated, and so are workplaces and neighborhoods. Many middle-class Black kids grow up in affluent White areas and socialize with White kids from kindergarten on. When they adolescent and teen years, they naturally are attracted to those within the same social circles in which they and in which they are comfortable.



Alvin Poussaint, MD, a professor of psychiatry at Harvard School, says there is an increase in interracial marriages this time because Black people are moving more more into what he refers to as the "mainstream of American society," and social barriers are dissolving. He and others also say that taboos against interracial dating and marriage are easing.



"Some of the negative attitudes toward interracial marriage have been lifted considerably," says Dr. Poussaint. "Today you see young people watching MTV [where they see Whites and Blacks interacting in the music videos]. You see more mixed dating and mixed couples. This has become less taboo. You also see an easing of a kind of Black-consciousness mentality. There is not the same kind of pressure on Blacks who are thinking about dating or marrying interracially. That is easing up and allowing people to feel more accepted. When you go to a Links ball or to the Boule, you see people who are interracially married. No one tells them that they can't be accepted into the social group because they have married outside the race. Since there is no social sanction in the Black community, people feel free to say, `I like this person and this is what I want to do, so I'll do it.'"



The specific reasons behind the escalating trend of dating and mating across color and racial lines vary from individual to individual. Some Black women say they were attracted to their White spouses because they had found it difficult to meet Black men on their social and income levels. Others say their mates treat them well and share common interests.



Some people seem to simply prefer to date people of another race. For instance, Robert DeNiro has had two Black wives and has dated a number of Black women, including models Naomi Campbell and Tookie Smith. O. J. Simpson continues to demonstrate a preference for White women, and Whoopi Goldberg consistently dates White guys.



While interracial mating is more accepted in today's society, there nevertheless are stereotypes and other negative aspects to be considered. Society in general has a history of frowning on Black-White marriages, and despite integration elsewhere, many people in the White as well as the Black communities do not approve of integration in the bedroom. In many cases, couples who fall in love and marry outside their cultural group are disavowed by their families, shunned by friends and insulted by strangers. One Black woman who is married to a White man tells how she and her husband were greeted with the proclamation, "Remember O. J.!" when they encountered a group of Black youths. A city judge who is married to his second White wife said he would rather not be quoted by name in this story. "Sisters already are I don t want to upset them further," he said. A Black sports coach expressed a similar sentiment.



Cheers :)



PS Go to the link and read more about it. There are 2 more pages left to be read as this is only the 1st page.
2007-08-20 05:26:48 UTC
Umm dunno, depends where you live.


This content was originally posted on Y! Answers, a Q&A website that shut down in 2021.
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