my mom is racist and i don't know what to say to her anymore...?

Question

alright, so my mom is racist towards anyone and everyone who isn't white. she especially hates mexicans, but she also doesn't like polynesians, asians, blacks etc. this has bothered me for years, but yet no matter what i say she's totally unconvinced. one time i pointed out an asian guy that i found particularly attractive and she told me that she wanted white grandkids. whenever gang activity happens in the neighborhood she automatically blames the mexicans, even though there are white gangs too. at my high school graduation there were some polynesian families making a lot of noise (banging pans, blow horns, shouting...) when their family members walked out to get their diplomas. i had to later hear her complain about them. i tried to tell her that polynesians are very loving, family oriented people and that even though they are loud, they are loud in a good way. she's always saying stuff like "why can't they just go back to their own country?" and i'm just like...really mom? just so long as they are here legally, does it really matter? especially since this is america??? i don't know if there's any way i can make her not racist, but do you guys have any ideas on how i can tolerate this? it doesn't help to say anything, but it also doesn't help to stay quiet.

Answer 1

Going to have to tolerate it until you can move out.



Not worth fighting over, you probably need to explain to her how it makes you feel, and that her (irrational) racism is damaging your relationship with her. She also needs to realize that once you move out, you may not wish to be around her because of her beliefs. You may just need to offer a truce...neither one of you mentions anything that has anything to do with race. Fair compromise, unfortunately it would be better if she pulled her head out, but doesn't sound likely.



You'd think the fact that all ethnicities fight and die for our Country every day would be enough for people to stop generalizing, but they don't.



Penguin is an idiot BTW, apparently more racist than what he/she thinks white people are!



Edit: Apparently there are other white supremacists on answers too. Race has no bearing on ANYTHING, once we get over that fact, we can start to make people take personal responsibility.

Answer 2

Sadly, it seems as if no opinion will change your mother's mind except her own. And even then, even if she sees the positives that people of these other races have and do, it seems as if she may continue to hold on to her prejudices. She may continue to view them in a not so horrible, but still negative light.



My father had some of those views. When a story was shown by the media of a person evicting a group of people, being a bully to others, acting as if they're better than everyone else, he would always say, "That's Haole style, that." Haole is the Hawaiian word for white person. My wife is half-Haole as my children are also part-Haole. That's when I would turn around and tell him, "Dad, your daughter-in-law and your mo'opuna (Hawaiian word for grandchildren) are hapa-Haole (Hawaiian word for part-White), do you see them acting like that?" That's when he would just shrug me off. Now, it's toned down quite a bit and he doesn't say those things around me anymore. I also know that he loves them, I see it every time we're with him.



Who knows, maybe your mother will be the same way if you find someone of another race and have children with that person. I'm not saying to do it just to cause spite with your mother, but love is a funny thing and sometimes you might find it in the most unlikely of people.

Answer 3

Unfortunately I don't think you are going to change her. You have to just tune her out and ignore her rants. I really don't understand her beef with Polynesians, that's really odd. I don't know how much longer you have to live with her, but I guess it's better than her being an abusive alcoholic.... I don't know, change isn't going to happen with her...she is your mother and you just have to tune her out or and this is a great idea, record her rants and auto tune or auto rap them or both.....at least she will sound funnier.....

Answer 4

For the love of God use the shift key! But ya your mom is kinda an ***. Asians and Mexicans are nice family oriented people :)



Blacks on the other hand...

Answer 5

Man, it must be tough and annoying to live with that.. But not only is she racist, she seems like a white supremacist.. Not that I'm disrespecting your mom. But you'll just have to soften her up.. It may take years... As long as you don't let her ideologies get to you.. But you can't change her mind.. She has to be willing to change her own mind..

Answer 6

who taught you to hate yourself?



have you ever in your life spoken to the racist hatred towards white people that is so pervasive and common? do you even recognize it? do you think reacting to the harm against you, your family and community makes you a racist? is that why you stay silent? are you afraid to say anything about it?



you certainly do manage to stay quiet about THAT..



its not that you are "non racist"... you are a compliant victim turned perpetraor. the fact that you are so self loathing, have such contempt for yourself and family that you are willing to mix interracially



tells us YOUR motivation, it explains YOUR hatred towards normal white people. if you are such an empty, dead individual inside...by all means denigrate yourself all you want... but dont drag other people down, your own family especially because you cant rationalize what kind of self loathing dirt you are.



again...if you keep your mouth shut at racism towards white people, then keep your mouth shut closed udner ALL circumstances because you arent "non racist"... a victim is nothing but a victim, and yes black racist cowards will happy coddle your own self loathing and HATE.

Answer 7

tell her its asian grandkids or nothin and then tell her she be forever alone someday